In this week’s handle with care, why I should be invited to an awards show and “The Bachelorette” Fantasy Suites recap.
Awards shows are so silly and dumb, but I love the spectacle so much!! They have everything: an overabundance of white actors and filmmakers, Margot Robbie in an ugly Chanel dress, controversy, Zendaya doing the little thing she does with her leg on the red carpet. But the Golden Globes? They are normally the first major awards ceremony that kicks off the new year, but not major enough to be included in the EGOT honor, after all.
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association was rightfully criticized this year for not having any Black members, and for a history of corruption (remember when “more than 30” HFPA members visited the set of “Emily in Paris” and stayed at an extravagant Paris hotel for two nights?). The 2021 ceremony went forward, but NBC won't be airing them in 2022 and possibly 2023 unless meaningful changes are made within the organization. Last Monday, the HFPA had Snoop Dogg announce the 2022 nominations, the same day the Critics Choice Awards nominations came out. The girls are fighting for the early-January awards show spot, and the Golden Globes are losing badly methinks…
As much as I love sitting on my couch watching celebrities win little statues, I would love it more if I were at one of these ceremonies in a pretty, yet kooky dress. Someone make this happen for me so I can have a meet-cute with one of my celebrity crushes in real life instead of my little nighttime fake scenarios.
RIP
Author and feminist bell hooks passed away from kidney failure on Dec. 15. She was 69 years old.
When I was in college, I would eagerly look over the syllabus for all my political science classes to see what we would be reading. Anytime I saw that we would be reading theory from her, I would get so excited. Like so many others, I am a little more loving, thoughtful, and caring because of her words.
Omicron’s impact
The Omicron variant of COVID is starting to spread rapidly in the United States, and things are particularly bad in New York City right now. The virus has prompted The Rockettes to cancel their remaining “Christmas Spectacular” shows, and “Saturday Night Live” to close their last show of the year to the public, and limit their cast and crew to prevent the spread. Reminder to get vaccinated or boosted if you haven’t already!!!!
Lizzie McGuire dating Josh Nichols AU
The trailer for the “How I Met Your Mother” spin-off “How I Met Your Father” dropped this past week.
I don’t know how to feel about it because I have mixed feelings about the original today, but I will probably watch it out of boredom and pretend it was the “Lizzie McGuire” reboot where Lizzie gets to fuck!
The Bachelorette Week 9 (Fantasy Suites) Recap
Michelle is in my homeland this week: Mexico!!! It’s Fantasy Suites week, where the three remaining men get to spend a full day & night with Michelle. After Tayshia briefs Brandon, Joe, and Nayte on what to expect out of these dates, she leaves the first date card on the table. As a refresher, here is bachelordata’s infographic of past contestants’ odds during Fantasy Suites:
Brandon is up first, and he and Michelle go horseback riding on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta for the daytime portion of their date. Since Brandon has never ridden a horse, he can’t quite get the horse to obey him in the beginning, but he learns. He and Michelle make a cute couple, but I can’t take Brandon seriously for some reason. I think it’s because he speaks in clichés, and I can’t tell what his true feelings for Michelle are. At dinner, he tells her he’s in love with her and Michelle offers the overnight date to him and, to no one’s surprise, he says yes! They enjoy fireworks in a hot tub, and uh oh… Joe and Nayte are watching the fireworks from their holding pen. This is when Nayte realizes that Michelle has two other boyfriends besides him.
The whole point of the overnight date is to have off-camera conversations, among other things. The next morning, Brandon and Michelle have breakfast in bed before they start throwing their food at each other. Now who do they think is gonna clean that up???? Brandon awkwardly returns to the hotel where Joe and Nayte have been for the past 24 hours, and doesn’t share any details of his date. Joe’s date is next, and I’m stupidly satisfied over the fact that the dates are occurring in alphabetical order. He meets Michelle outside overlooking all the trees, and she tells him they’re going to have a picnic. They just have to zipline over to it! I had never seen this much personality come out of this man before this episode, and Michelle said she liked seeing his “goofy side.” In the evening, they talk about normal future things, like how many kids they want, etc.
Back at the hotel, Nayte is sending Brandon into a spiral: he tells him that going on the date last is the best spot. Brandon disagrees, but he looks worried. Still, he tries to make himself feel better about his connection with her, saying, “That’s my woman. That’s my wife.” Nayte quickly counters, “not yet!” and later asks Brandon what he thinks Michelle and Joe are doing on their date at that moment. He is what the “Love Island” islanders would call, a “shit-stirrer.” Meanwhile, Joe and Michelle decide to take their date back to the hotel, and he is falling in love with her. I was scared seeing the whites of Michelle’s eyes while they were kissing, it’s true. She said she got “clarity” after their night together. Joe is back at his hotel, and he tells his competitors that he had a good time with Michelle.
Nayte’s date is the last one, and they’re back on a boat! Michelle is still worried about Nayte not being ready for an engagement. Brandon and Joe talk at the hotel about how they think Nayte isn’t opening up to Michelle. Shady! At their dinner, she asks him if there is anything he wants to talk about. He says no, so she frankly asks if he’s ready to be engaged. He talks about how great it has been for him to explore these feelings, but no definitive answer. She emphasizes that “falling in love” and “being in love” are their next two steps, and an engagement would be the third. He says that he’s ready for all three of those, and he follows up by telling her that he’s falling in love with her. That seems to be enough for Michelle right now, so she offers the overnight date, and he accepts. By morning, Nayte tells her that he is in love with her, and she reciprocates! Oh, it’s a wrap for everyone else… Michelle thinks Nayte is her soulmate.
To close out the week, there must be another rose ceremony, and all three men feel secure in their connections. Michelle has to “break someone’s heart.” Before she starts handing out roses, Brandon interrupts and asks to talk to her. They go sit in another room and all he says is that he loves her and that he’ll be there for her no matter what, and she starts tearing up. I had a negative reaction to Brandon doing this because it seemed manipulative. Nonetheless, Michelle has two roses to hand out, and they go to Nayte and Brandon.
Michelle walks Joe out and tells him that she was falling in love with him. Joe seemed shocked to be going home, but he thanks Michelle for getting him to be open. He gets in his car and Michelle is devastated. She even does the classic crouch and cry that all the Bachelorettes do. I’m excited to see what happens during the finale on Tuesday!
Short newsletter this week! Thanks for reading! 💗 I’ve been busy with holiday things, so next week’s will probably be short too. I also went to the movies for the first time in almost two years (!!!) to watch “Spider-Man: No Way Home” on Friday. The theater was less than half full around noon, and luckily everyone in there was pretty spaced out. I want to talk about the movie so bad, but I’ll wait until it’s socially appropriate to talk about the spoilies. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, be safe, and see you on the 26th!