The de-yassification of the green M&M
What was the point, exactly?
In this week’s handle with care, my first accurate 2022 prediction!!
It happened: Ms. Green (I didn’t know she had a name) traded in her Margiela Tabi boots for Adidas Superstars. Real women and fictional, candy women alike are being silenced for being attractive! Mars, the company that makes M&Ms, announced on Thursday that the chocolate characters were getting an update that is more “inclusive, welcoming, and unifying.”
I don’t know anyone in real life that identifies with an M&M character, or complained about how the green one looks. It’s actually so silly that this is even a thing! Why do a reverse “She’s All That” on an M&M? She was probably very happy in her white go-go boots. She fit right in with the girls that attended Harry Styles’ “Love on Tour.” If anything had to be changed with M&M characters, it’s that they should’ve added another girl. Maybe make her purple! Nothing is even real, and the more I think about it, the more I feel insane for writing this.
Jonas girl dad #3
Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Jonas announced on Friday that their first baby was born via surrogate. Curiously enough, I recently watched the “Jonas Brothers Family Roast” on Netflix, and Priyanka joked about expecting.
If you are keeping track with my 2022 predictions, I basically got this right! I love having a win.
My best friend is sad
Adele posted a video of her crying on main, explaining the postponement of her Vegas residency, “Weekends with Adele” at Caesars Palace. She FaceTimed fans that were in her store on what would’ve been opening night.
New Projects I Have My Eye On™
The trailer for Marvel’s “Moon Knight” series premiered this past week, starring Oscar Isaac and Ethan Hawke. Gaspard Ulliel, a French actor who is also in the series, passed away in a skiing accident on Wednesday. He was 37.
Jenna Ortega is Hollywood’s new it girl. She stars alongside Maddie Ziegler in HBO Max’s “The Fallout,” a story about how two students’ lives are changed following a school shooting.
The GRAMMYs move to Vegas
Two weeks after it was announced that the ceremony would be postponed, the GRAMMYs have found a new home in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. They will air on Sunday, April 3, 2022.
Variety’s “Actors on Actors” lineup is out
The series pairs actors together for an interview-style discussion ahead of the major awards shows. Variety has also announced that Lady Gaga has been paired with a “mystery actor,” who will be unveiled when the “Actors on Actors” issue is on newsstands Jan. 26. The “Actors on Actors” series will premiere on PBS SoCal on Feb. 18, and they’ll be posted on YouTube. Here is the 2022 lineup:
Javier Bardem (“Being the Ricardos”) with Daniel Craig (“No Time to Die”)
Mahershala Ali (“Swan Song”) with Bradley Cooper (“Nightmare Alley” and “Licorice Pizza”)
Lady Gaga (“House of Gucci”) with a mystery guest
Nicole Kidman (“Being the Ricardos”) with Kristen Stewart (“Spencer”)
Andrew Garfield (“Tick, Tick … Boom!” and “The Eyes of Tammy Faye”) with Rachel Zegler (“West Side Story”)
Aunjanue Ellis (“King Richard”) with Regina King (“The Harder They Fall”)
Jessica Chastain (“They Eyes of Tammy Faye”) with Rita Moreno (“West Side Story”)
Penélope Cruz (“Parallel Mothers”) with Benedict Cumberbatch (“The Power of the Dog”)
Jamie Dornan (“Belfast”) with Kirsten Dunst (“The Power of the Dog”)
Oscar Isaac (“The Card Counter”) with Jared Leto (“House of Gucci”)
Marlee Matlin (“CODA”) with Bradley Whitford (“Tick, Tick … Boom!”)
Ariana DeBose (“West Side Story”) with Simu Liu (“Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings”)
Happy three years of “Heard It In A Past Life!”
I heavily associate the year 2019 with the wistfulness that is Maggie Rogers’ debut album, “Heard It In A Past Life.” It was the busiest year of my life, and it had everything: a spring internship, a new job in the fall, my crush on a boy that I sat next to in class for two semesters in a row that broke his leg and I had no way of contacting for six weeks, the movie “Booksmart,” and learning how to feel grounded. “Heard It In A Past Life” turned three on Jan. 18, and I have a story to share about it!
Maggie Rogers was coming to my city for an album signing and performance at a local record shop the day after her album was released. To get into the show, you had to preorder “Heard It In A Past Life” in person or over the phone. I ended up seeing the Instagram post about it too late for me to call, but I went downtown to the record shop the next morning when they opened anyway to try my luck. I asked the woman at the register if there were any spots left for the show, and she said no. Cut to: the pity party I threw for myself in my head.
“Heard It In A Past Life” had very cosmic themes that I quickly took note of when I listened to it for the first time. (Listen to “Retrograde” while Mercury is currently in retrograde.) Then I replayed it when it ended, and was thinking about the zodiac signs and noticed there were 12 tracks. I had the big brain idea of tweeting which songs belong to each zodiac sign. Astrology was really trendy on Twitter at the time, and so was this style of tweet. It’s also really fun… people who shit on it love to think you’re insane.
Margaret Debay Rogers (government name because this was a big deal to me) actually saw it, read it, quote retweeted it, thought about it some more, and quote retweeted it again less than ten minutes later with the songs as her sun, moon, and rising. As a Virgo sun and moon, nothing compared to the feeling of satisfaction I felt when she approved of my little tweet. I was also really surprised at how many strangers on the internet agreed!
I ended up buying a signed copy of the album to live with my signed Niall Horan, Ariana Grande, and Taylor Swift albums in a little gallery wall one day. I have yet to see Maggie Rogers live, but I hope to one day! When she tweeted about the album’s anniversary, I was thinking about this moment, and how a lot of the best things that happen in my life come after I go through any kind of inconvenience. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but things always work themselves out eventually!
All men are liars! Andrew Garfield is no exception. This past week, he admitted he lied to Emma Stone about being in “Spider-Man: No Way Home.” Even though he lied to her… I love the fact that they still talk to each other. I love getting Stonefield crumbs in the year 2022.
I was going to mention this while I talked about the movie last week, but when I got home from the movies, I had to look up how old Andrew Garfield is. Yes, he’s a white British man, but I was still surprised to learn that he’s 38. My TikTok ‘for you’ page still consists of his fancams and “Gweter” (Gwen and Peter) edits. And I know he’s 15 years my senior, a Leo man, and I always have “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)” on a loop, but I think we can make it work!!!
I started playing Wordle this week, like the trend follower I am. The first time I tried it, I didn’t get it, but I’ve had a streak going since then! I got today’s Wordle in four tries. I hope everyone is doing well, thank you for reading!