On “Turning Red,” friendship, and stan culture
I’m a 4*Townie.
In this week’s handle with care, thoughts on “Turning Red” and the Clayton/Susie argument on “The Bachelor.”
Pixar’s newest film “Turning Red” was released Friday on Disney+, and it was probably the most relatable one to me. Set in Toronto, Canada in 2002, it focuses on 13-year-old Meilin “Mei” Lee, who wakes up one morning as a red panda. Throughout the film she learns how to control her strong emotions—which trigger her pandafication—while balancing her relationships with her friends and family. Keep scrolling if you don’t want to see any spoilers!!
Mei and her friends, Miriam, Priya, and Abby are obsessed with the boyband 4*Town, and plan on seeing them on their Toronto tour stop. I was also the tender age of 13 when I first started stanning One Direction, and I even saw them on their Up All Night Tour that year with my friends. Being a boyband stan in 2002 was obviously much different than it was in 2012, and even more so now in 2022. For example, I forgot that Ticketmaster was probably not a thing then, and was shocked watching these girls buy tickets at the box office. We would’ve been in shambles doing this for a One Direction tour, and I can’t even imagine what it would be like these days for BTS. And there was no stan Twitter in 2002, so I envy how peaceful life must have been for these girls. No 4*Town update accounts, they just listen to their little CDs and read their little teeny bopper magazines.
Watching this movie from the perspective of a literal bright-eyed and bushy-tailed teenage girl as a 23-year-old was so sentimental for me. The relationship dynamic between Mei, Miriam, Priya, and Abby is also heartwarming. They love being goofy together, and Mei must have an 11th house stellium like myself, because her friendships mean the world to her. She thinks of them to quell her inner red panda. Despite Mei disappointing her friends after Tyler’s party is suspended, they understood Mei was still figuring out who she is.
Mei knows that things in her life won’t be the same forever, and this is a theme that “Turning Red” hits so beautifully. I’ve changed so much since I was 13, but I still think of myself at that age and how big all of my problems seemed, and how much I wanted my own parents to be proud of me. Mei is a people pleaser, who especially wants to make her mom, Ming, happy. Children in nonwhite families, and especially children of immigrants, all have the immense urge to make their parents proud. It’s why we see Ming in tears as a teenager at the end of the film, and Mei consoling her because she knows how she feels. In the end, Mei chooses to make herself happy, and turn a generational curse into something she is proud of.
The Kardashians are stirring the pot, again
Appearing on the cover of Variety this week, the Kardashians made their occasional controversial statements, as they do.
Kim Kardashian was criticized for saying, “I have the best advice for women in business. Get your fucking ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days.” This was incredibly easy for her to say as a literal billionaire who can fund her own projects and businesses, while her employees don’t get breaks and are underpaid. Aside from being famously underpaid, regular women in the workforce also have barriers that can keep them from working, like a lack of childcare or disabilities. Girlbossing is simply not worth it when your labor is taken advantage of.
The song of the summer dropped at the end of winter
Future movie stars Dua Lipa and Megan Thee Stallion released their collaboration, “Sweetest Pie,” on Friday.
The Bachelor Week 9 (Fantasy Suites) Recap
The Bachelor and his final three are in Iceland this week to wrap up the journey, starting with Fantasy Suites. Susie, Gabby, and Rachel sat awkwardly in their suite before Jesse walked in to hand over the first date card, which was for Rachel. When she left to get ready, Susie already thought her worst fears out loud: Clayton could get “intimate” with Rachel. Clayton and Rachel met in the mountains and took a helicopter ride to a spicy mountain (a dormant volcano). They descended 400 feet into it, and talked about meeting her family last week. Clayton said he wanted to be more vulnerable with the remaining women, but was hardly that during this chat. At their dinner date, he told her he’s falling in love with her, and they accepted the Fantasy Suite invitation. When Clayton left the next morning, Rachel yelled “I love you” from her balcony, and he yelled it back to her. When Rachel returned to the suite, she even apologized to the women “in advance.” Well… they both can definitely guess what happened!
Gabby’s date is next, and a few minutes after her car dropped her off, Clayton rolled up in a dune buggy to manically drive along the black sand beach. After that, they went to a café and debriefed on her hometown date. Gabby had been open-minded during the week, and told Susie earlier that she wanted him to explore all his options and to want to pick her in the end. In the evening, Clayton also opened up to Gabby and told her he was falling in love with her. They went to a remote yurt for the Fantasy Suite, and, well… you know! The next morning, they made breakfast together, and he stole Rachel’s move as he left, yelling across the way to Gabby: “I am falling in love with you!” Gabby went back to the suite looking like the Bratz doll meme, and Susie told her she has “bedhead.”
Susie’s date was the final one, and even Clayton was worried about the ramifications of falling in love with all three women. On a windy day in Iceland, they both go to the Sky Lagoon, a spa where they move from cold to hot areas. She was very halfhearted about the whole date, likely because she was nervous. When they met again for dinner, he told her he was in love with her. As surprised as Susie was, she had something else she wanted to get to the bottom of first. She straight up asked him if he slept with any of the other women, because that was something she couldn’t see herself compromising on. He confessed that he did, but he actually loves her “most.” What? Before Clayton can be all, “You shouldn’t be upset that I fucked [them], you should be upset I had a laugh with [them],” Susie stepped away. Clayton went outside to air his annoyance; Jesse even went to check on him. Susie came back to talk to him, and admitted that she should’ve let him know, and that she couldn’t leave with him, but she doesn’t know what to do. Clayton was soooo mad, accused her of “invalidating” their relationship, and walked her out.
Personally, I think Clayton and Susie both went about it wrong. Susie should not have expected Clayton to not have sex with anyone, especially because she didn’t communicate her feelings about sex to him before Fantasy Suites. If she told him that earlier, and he decided to have sex with Rachel and Gabby anyway, then Clayton would’ve had to live with knowingly crossing her boundary. She didn’t want to give a Madison Prewett-style ultimatum; if she’s seen the show (and that season in particular), she knows the public ate Prewett up with negative comments. But surely this wasn’t a better idea?? Clayton was wrong in his response to her: he took advantage of the fact that she was emotionally in a tough spot, getting defensive, raising his voice at her, and saying, “How could you let us get to this point?” I can empathize with Susie there, but I think she should’ve had a clear conversation with him before that week, because she did tell him to “explore the relationships.”
In real life, people who are dating typically sleep with multiple people. On “The Bachelor,” the end goal is a long-term, ideally, committed relationship (by getting engaged). Clayton’s wanting to go three for three with the “I love you’s” and the sex can be seen as questionable within the parameters of the show, but I understand why he did it. If you’re looking for a marriage on this cursed show, you kinda have to see about the sexual compatibility. Even though he told Susie he loved her “most,” he didn’t take her feelings into consideration knowing that she would eventually find out he loved three women and see this on TV, should she have gotten engaged to him.
The onus isn’t just on them, production absolutely had a hand in making Susie spiral. They continuously asked her what she thought he was doing with the other women, placed her in the last Fantasy Suite date slot, and made the final three women live together. They also knew that Clayton had never watched the show before appearing on Michelle’s season—where he placed 8th—meaning he also didn’t know how to handle Fantasy Suites on his own. The blow up was contrived, and now multiple people are involved. All I know at this point is that everything I just said will probably be moot by tomorrow’s episode and Tuesday’s finale.
This isn’t even that timely anymore, but IDGAF: Oscar Isaac on “SNL” last week temporarily stopped my PMS depression.
He is starring in Marvel’s “Moon Knight” series on Disney+ this month, and I have to be 100% honest and say that I’m not sure I would be interested in watching it if he weren’t in it. Like… I still don’t really know what it’s about! Nothing can even top “WandaVision” in my eyes anyway, but Oscar Isaac is still on my to-do list!
Thanks for reading!! I hope everyone is having a good weekend! Today, I am leaving you with my new favorite song I heard on TikTok:
