In this week’s handle with care, awards season updates and thoughts on that “Bachelor” finale.
When they weren’t (allegedly) committing vehicular manslaughter in the early 2010s, I think Taylor Swift and Harry Styles spent their relationship dancing in their kitchens. And while “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” and the new vault tracks still haven’t been released, I have spent too much time thinking about these lyrics. What makes a kitchen such a top-notch space for dancing? Someone please direct me to Tree Paine!
I listened to “The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)” again the other day, which inspired this section. I personally think it’s about Harry Styles (instead of Jake Gyllenhaal or Dianna Agron) because of how it alludes to “1989.” The lyrics, “Didn’t read the note on the Polaroid picture,” is prominent because the album art for “1989” is a Polaroid picture. And of course, the mention of riding in a car and being “built to fall apart” à la “Out of the Woods.” Even the reference of being in a hotel is important, because the video for One Direction’s song “Perfect” (also about Tayla) is set in a hotel. Below is what is speculated to be the very first night in question:
In the pre-chorus after the second verse she also says, “Dance in the kitchen, chase me down through the hallway.” This lyric in particular reminds me of Styles because he has two songs that reference these lyrics: “Sunflower, Vol. 6” (“Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor”) and “Meet Me in the Hallway” from his debut album. I sometimes wonder if her vault tracks from the Taylor’s Version albums are already completely written or if they’re halfway done before she wants to release them. This could be a coincidence or my brain is just wired to cherry pick their lyrics about each other like it’s perpetually 2012, except this relationship isn’t the bane of my existence like it was when I was 14. Maybe when “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” comes out, I’ll do another Haylor analysis and talk about the “Style”/”Two Ghosts” of it all.
“CRASH” and “MOTOMAMI” make me want to learn how to drive
Charli XCX and Rosalía released new albums this week, and they join Mitski’s “Laurel Hell” on my favorite albums of the 2022 list.
My favorite tracks from Charli XCX’s “CRASH” are “Constant Repeat,” “Used To Know Me,” and “Twice.” My top three from Rosalía’s “MOTOMAMI” are “DELIRIO DE GRANDEZA,” “CUUUUuuuuuute,” and “CHICKEN TERIYAKI” after seeing her perform it on “Saturday Night Live” last weekend.
Selena Gomez remains in her TV era
The actress and singer has found her newest project: a reimagining of the beloved 80s film “Sixteen Candles.” Titled “15 Candles,” the comedy will follow four Latinas in high school ahead of their quinceañeras, and it will stream on Peacock.
BAFTAs: Rachel Zegler is this year’s awards season star
The British Academy of Film and TV Arts Awards took place last weekend, and while Rachel Zegler wasn’t nominated for Best Actress for her role in “West Side Story,” I love that she still has so much fun. She’s so relatable… truly, it’s how I would act if I were famous. She attended the ceremony with co-star Mike Faist, joking that he stood her up. The Critics’ Choice Awards were the same evening, and after an outfit change, Zegler had a wardrobe malfunction and three stars helped her fix it:
Critics’ Choice Awards: Jane Campion’s foot is in her mouth
Jane Campion won Best Director for “The Power of the Dog” at last weekend’s Critics’ Choice Awards and gave a rambling speech that targeted Venus and Serena Williams. The tennis pros were in attendance with the “King Richard” team, and were noticeably surprised to be mentioned by her.
Campion first praised them for their abilities on the court, then asked them for lessons, and finally said, “Venus and Serena, you’re such marvels. However, you don’t play against the guys, like I have to,” referencing the male directors she is competing against this year. She apologized the following day, saying that she “did not intend to devalue these two legendary Black women and world-class athletes.”
2022 GRAMMY Performers revealed
The Recording Academy announced the first seven performers that will take the stage at this year’s GRAMMYs: Billie Eilish, Brandi Carlile, Brothers Osbourne, BTS, Jack Harlow, Lil Nas X, and Olivia Rodrigo.
It was also revealed that Kanye West won’t be able to perform at all because of his “concerning online behavior,” regarding Pete Davidson and recently, GRAMMYs host Trevor Noah. Noah, who hosts the “Daily Show,” did a ten-minute segment (that went viral) talking about Kanye, Kim, and Pete on Tuesday night’s show. In response, West used a racial slur against the host on Instagram, which caused his account to be banned for 24 hours.
The Bachelor Week 10 (The Rose Ceremony From Hell + Finale) Recap
Airing over the course of two nights, Clayton’s reign as the Bachelor ended rather foolishly. We last saw him dump Susie, and he was left with his final 2: Gabby and Rachel. Clayton realized he has to tell them both what happened between him and Susie at the rose ceremony, and hope that they don’t leave him. Both of the remaining women were nervous, and they were surprised to not see Susie arrive. Clayton stood before them and came clean; Susie’s gone, he was in love with her, he’s in love with both of them, and he had sex with both of them. Gabby and Rachel started crying and walked away from him. Jesse walked in to see how Clayton was doing, and you could hear Rachel’s sobs echo throughout the building they were in.
Gabby talked to Clayton first, and they went through the whole story again. She’s curious why he would send Susie home if he told her he loved her. Clayton said that he’ll love whoever he ends up picking “the most,” which rightfully pissed her off. She told him that “love can’t be measured,” and to put himself in her shoes. Back with Rachel, she was hysterically crying over him being in love with three women, and she felt like their relationship wasn’t special. He tried to reassure her by telling her their love was different, and he’s excited for his family to potentially meet her, and their relationship is worth fighting for. The rose ceremony restarted, and he offered a rose to Rachel, who accepted it with no mascara on her eyes anymore. Then he offered one to Gabby, who said she couldn’t accept it. They walked out, and Rachel was shocked that she was the only woman left. Before Gabby could leave, she told him that she didn’t want to compete with anyone for his love (comical), referring to his previous statement of choosing who he loved the most. He puts a lot of effort into getting her to change her mind and stay, even telling her that what they have is “real” and finally apologizing.
In the end, Gabby stayed and accepted the rose. Rachel was relieved that she wasn’t the default winner. Both women met Clayton’s family (mom, Kelly; dad, Brian; and brothers, Nate and Patrick) the literal next day. Clayton told them everything, and his dad seems to be on the women’s side and told his son he “screwed the pooch.” Gabby arrives first, and his dad tells her that he respects her for walking away from him. At the end of her visit, she doesn’t seem to regret staying. Rachel met his family next, and his mom loved her. While Clayton’s family is raving about both women, Clayton can’t help but think about Susie. Kelly and Brian tried really hard to get the fact that she left through his thick skull, but he didn’t care! He wanted to talk to her and try to fix things.
Part two starts with Jesse Palmer paying Susie a visit, since she’s still in Iceland. He asks if she would want to talk to him, and in the next scene she is walking through the doors of the Echards’ Airbnb. She greets them and asks to talk to Clayton outside. She said she thinks he’s a good person, but just didn’t like how he treated her. He apologized to her, asked for a second chance, and told her he loved her. Susie wanted time to think about everything and left. At this point, he was set on Susie no matter what she decided, so he wanted to break up with Gabby and Rachel. He went to their hotel, where the women were talking to each other before being surprised by him. He sat down next to Rachel and told them at the same time that his heart is with Susie. Not the double dumping… Gabby left the room and Rachel was in tears.
Clayton followed Gabby and asked if they could talk. She put on a masterclass in confrontation, and after he says he didn’t want her to leave at the rose ceremony on her terms, she posits that he’s sending her home now on his terms to protect his ego. When he realized he wouldn’t win this argument, he asked if he could walk her out, to which she replied a stark “no” before heading out by herself. Clayton went back to Rachel, who told him they have different definitions of love. She couldn’t believe he was ending things with her. “This is going to haunt you,” she said. “The fact that you let me go.” He walked her out, and she asked multiple times if he was really going to put her in the car. When she got in, she was upset at the fact that he didn’t even cry over sending her home. Just so this section doesn’t get too long, I’ll link Gabby and Rachel confronting him on the live after show.
Time to see if Clayton’s shenanigans were worth it for him! Jesse delivered a letter from Clayton to Susie, which reiterated his love for her and asked if she could meet with him. He’s at the proposal site with the gaudiest Neil Lane engagement ring in his pocket. She arrived in a gown and met him inside a little barn. He told her she’s the only one for him, and even showed her the ring to prove he’s serious about her. She agreed that their love was real, but she didn’t think she was “his person.” That somehow was not enough for him, so he asked again if there’s any chance they could work it out. Susie said, “I feel like it’s over.” Clayton left Iceland alone. However, sometime after the show wrapped, somebody reached out to him. It was Susie, and they are boyfriend and girlfriend right now. Clayton said that it was worth it—it being fucking with two other women—to end up with Susie. He quit his job and he’s moving in with her in Virginia to make things work. Susie is kinda questionable for getting back with Clayton seeing how he treated Gabby and Rachel, but she seems to have things under control with him. Now for the last thing on the agenda: who is the next Bachelorette? “It’s not Gabby or Rachel,” said Jesse Palmer. “It’s Gabby and Rachel!”
The first double “Bachelorette” season… with two deserving people. I’m actually excited for this, because it has been so repetitive recently. This also makes it the perfect “in” if you’ve never seen the show before. It won’t air until July 11, so I get a break from watching any “Bachelor” content after four straight seasons. Palmer is returning to host, but they have no idea how it will work having two permanent leads. The first season I ever watched was Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season, and they had two leads for the first night, and the men voted for which woman they wanted to pursue. And then of course we have Clare Crawley and Tayshia Adams’ season, where Adams was brought in after Crawley found her match. Prayers no fame-seeking men from past seasons come out of the woodwork to date Gabby or Rachel this year.
Hi everyone, happy spring equinox!! I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez is 25% off at Sephora stores inside JCPenney, and today is the last day. I already picked up a new concealer! I think I’m also finally going to watch “West Side Story” today, I’m so behind on my awards season watchlist. If anyone has any recommendations, send them my way! Thanks for reading this week!!!!