In this week’s handle with care, an astrological dive into RENAISSANCE, Taylor Swift being a climate criminal, and a mini Bachelorette recap.
Well. I think RENAISSANCE is my new favorite Beyoncé album! She never fails to outdo herself. And then I remember that this is only act one out of three!!!!!!!! She always does her homework, and there are so many references to house music, as I mentioned when “Break My Soul” was released, but the ballroom, disco, and female empowerment references are just so excellent. You dip the Donna Summer “I Feel Love” sample in the Beyoncé “SUMMER RENAISSANCE” and it’s just good.
The album was actually being sold early at retail stores in Europe, and it was leaked online two days early. Albums being put out on shelves early or pre-orders arriving in the mail early have been a problem recently for artists like Harry Styles and Maggie Rogers, who also released her album Surrender the same day as Beyoncé.
Beyoncé posted the following note on social media, commenting on the leak:
“So, the album leaked, and you all actually waited until the proper release time so you can all enjoy it together. I’ve never seen anything like it. I can’t thank y’all enough for your love and protection. I appreciate you for calling out anyone that was trying to sneak into the club early. It means the world to me. Thank you for your unwavering support. Thank you for being patient. We are going to take our time and enjoy the music. I will continue to give my all and do my best to bring you joy. I love you deep.”
After my first listen, my favorite was “CUFF IT.” If she’s releasing another single, it needs to be “CUFF IT.” I was amazed by some of the transitions between the songs. I really love when artists do that because it makes it more fun to listen to albums top to bottom. Right now I love “VIRGO’S GROOVE” (obviously) and “PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA.” I desperately needed to be anywhere but my bed while I was listening to the album. Wrong environment!!!!
Speaking of “VIRGO’S GROOVE,” I was reading the lyrics online and found sooooo many Virgo lyrics. Things that I, a September Virgo, identify with alongside Beyoncé. Hehe. I know that if non-Virgos were Virgos, they would absolutely be proud of it. It’s easy when we have Beyoncé as a spokeswoman, what can I say. While I was giving Maggie Rogers’ album some attention in the form of a zodiac signs as Surrender songs tweet, my Scorpio friend Annika asked for a RENAISSANCE version. There were some lyrics in songs that stood out to me for certain signs (and I included them in case you were curious), and since there are 16 songs on the album, some signs have two. That’s just how the cookie crumbled, I fear!!
Zodiac signs as RENAISSANCE songs
ARIES: “MOVE” — “give me a little fire”
TAURUS: “CUFF IT,” + “AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM”
GEMINI: “ENERGY” — “chat too much,” “you know that I’m gon’ be extra”
CANCER: “PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA” — “it’s the way you wear your emotions on both of your sleeves” + “SUMMER RENAISSANCE” — “sorry ‘bout yesterday, now the sweet stuff”
LEO: “THIQUE”
VIRGO: “COZY” — “that’s how God made me” + “VIRGO’S GROOVE” — “you make me lose my pride”
LIBRA: “I’M THAT GIRL” — “you know love is my weakness” + “HEATED” — “got a lot of style, got a lot of Tiffany on me”
SCORPIO: “ALIEN SUPERSTAR” — “no one else in this world can think like me”
SAGITTARIUS: “ALL UP IN YOUR MIND”
CAPRICORN: “BREAK MY SOUL”
AQUARIUS: “CHURCH GIRL” — “nobody can judge me but me / I was born free”
PISCES: “PURE/HONEY”
Just For A Moment
Olivia Rodrigo and rumored ex Joshua Bassett reunited for the third season premiere of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series.
This was such a surprise, but I feel like it was necessary? Not to sound like a gatekeeper, but I watched this show before the “drivers license” saga, and the energy was particularly cursed when the second season came out during all of that. Even if it was performative and they’re actually on bad terms, I feel better about watching them on the show.
Pollution (Taylor’s Version)
British digital marketing firm Yard conducted a study on celebrities with the worst private jet CO2 emissions. Taylor Swift topped the list with 8,293.54 tons of carbon, which they say is 1,184.8 times more than the average person’s total emissions.
Yard’s study was to “highlight the damaging impact of private jet usage,” and added the disclaimer that there’s no way to know if these celebrities were actually on all these flights. Tree Paine was put to work this week, and issued a statement on behalf of Taylor: “Taylor’s jet is loaned out regularly to other individuals. To attribute most or all these trips to her is blatantly incorrect.” Her shortest flight was 36 minutes long, from Missouri to Nashville, Tenn.
Netflix’s crown jewel
The third season of Mindy Kaling’s Never Have I Ever is finally coming back on August 12!!! A pandemic year is not the same without a new season of this show.
The Bachelorette Week 3 Recap
I know production kept saying that they’re figuring out the whole “two Bachelorettes” thing as they go, but this episode made it very obvious. There are 21 men left after the first rose ceremony last week, and there will be a one-on-one date for each Bachelorette, and a huge group date.
Rachel’s date is up first, and she picks Zach, the 25-year-old tech executive. The two meet at a hotel and they find Karamo from Queer Eye waiting for them. As they pop a bottle of champagne, Karamo tells them that they’re going to a Hollywood movie premiere and that he’s going to help them get ready. As Rachel and Zach are hitting it off, Gabby decides to go to the mansion to spend time with the rest of the men. With the exception of a few men, they are more interested in tossing a football back and forth, and their lack of effort disappoints Gabby and makes her feel insecure. Back on the date, Zach and Rachel are trying on outfits, and land on a black tux and chartreuse sequined dress. They get in a limo and pull up to the El Capitan theater. I was sad to see that Rachel is also now wearing a Muppet fur shawl on top of the dress. They take photos at their red carpet, and walk into an empty theater. The movie is called Me & You, and it’s home videos of each of them as kids with a live piano soundtrack. Their moms also sent in messages for them, and they cried. Zach and Rachel also bond over their parents taking them to watching planes land and take off at the airport when they were younger. They dance on the stage, and she gives him a rose.
Gabby arrives at the mansion to pick up her one-on-one date, Erich, the 29-year-old real estate analyst. Except that there will be another person on this date… Gabby’s Grandpa John. The one that called her a dingbat when she was on Clayton’s season! The trio goes to a yurt for a “sound bath.” Grandpa John falls asleep during it. After that, they go bowling and it turns into a double date, AKA they “found” an elderly stranger for Grandpa John. Then Gabby and Erich leave Grandpa John and the stranger to go to dinner. Erich tells Gabby about his family, and Gabby gets emotional talking about not having a relationship with her mother. She excuses herself to talk to producers, and wonders if she’s “too broken for anyone to love.” She returns to her seat with Erich and explains her reaction. Gabby gives him the rose after they established this new emotional connection.
The group date this week is a photoshoot, and the 19 men that haven’t left the mansion this week are invited. Resident Bachelor photographer Franco is back to run this show. The themes of the shoot ranged from a car wash with some men wearing daisy dukes, family photos with men dressed as toddlers wearing propeller hats, Adam and Eve, and faux proposals. The after party is at SoFi Stadium. The producers set up picnics and couches on a football field… it doesn’t get stupider than this! But tonight some of the men are making it clear who they’re leaning towards; Aven, Jordan, and Tino all kiss Rachel, meanwhile Tyler respectfully tells Gabby he wants to pursue Rachel. A nice rejection doesn’t ruin Gabby’s night! Hayden also lets Gabby know he wants to date Rachel, except he calls her “rough around the edges,” which Gabby does not take well. And then Jacob tells Gabby that he wouldn’t continue the ~journey~ if she were the sole Bachelorette.
Gabby is defeated, and feels like she is “too much for people.” She takes a moment to compose herself and meets Rachel and the men to hand out group date roses. Rachel gives her rose to Aven, and Gabby doesn’t hand hers out, which surprises Rachel. When they leave, Gabby talks to Rachel about how her night went, and Rachel is astounded over how the men are choosing which woman to pursue. After a night of sleep, the women decide that this process needs to be different if they both want to get engaged at the end.
Jesse Palmer arrives at the mansion for the evening’s cocktail party and rose ceremony. Okay, not the cocktail party, because Gabby and Rachel canceled it. He tells them that the rose they accept tonight will mean they are committing to dating the woman that offers it to them. Since Erich got Gabby’s rose on their date, and Zach and Aven got one from Rachel on their dates, they are in their respective groups. If someone is offered a rose, and the man doesn’t want it, Jesse will remove the rose, and they go back in line in case the other woman wants to give it to them. If not, then they’re gone… Good Luck, Charlie.
Here are the men in Gabby’s group: Erich, Nate, Johnny, Spencer, Jason, Mario, Kirk, Quincey, and Michael. Rachel had to deal with rejections from Termayne, Alec, and Meatball. Rachel was devastated, and at one point the women had to excuse themselves. Here are the men in Rachel’s group: Zach, Aven, Tino, Logan, Tyler, Ethan, Jordan, and Hayden. Then we get an MCU end credits scene: Meatball, who initially rejected Rachel, wants back in. And while we don’t get an answer from Rachel in this episode, the preview for the next episode lets us know that Meatball does in fact weasel his way back in.
Hiiiiii. In case you missed it, my first cover story was released on Monday! I interviewed Chase Lawrence from the band COIN for The Luna Collective’s summer print issue. A real pinch me career moment!!!
I wanted to thank everyone for all the support. It made me happy to get really nice messages from friends and colleagues! Digital and print copies are on sale now, and 10% of all the proceeds are going to The National Network of Abortion Funds. Luna is a small indie zine, so financial support really helps keep it going. I can’t wait to have my print copy in my hands! Thank you for reading this week 💚