24 Things I Learned Before Turning 24
It’s still Virgo season in my head.
In this week’s handle with care, we’re celebrating my birthday!!! Plus, Taylor Swift news and that Bachelorette finale.
I turned 24 this past Tuesday, and leaving my early 20s behind has never made me happier. I have always actually liked the idea of getting older, and that might be because I was always one of the youngest people in my class when I was in school. I remember being called “le bébé de la classe” in AP French during my senior year of high school. And just when I had caught up in age to everyone else, they got older again.
There’s an essay Taylor Swift wrote in ELLE Magazine called “30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30” that I read whenever I need a pick-me-up. The last time I read it was during the summer, and in the three years since it’s been published, I found myself resonating with more of it every year. And while 24 is maybe not a very satisfying, nice number to write one of these for (25 would’ve been nice lol), I think I needed to do it after a very pivotal year for me. And maybe one of you will read this and resonate with it too.
Music is instantly comforting, and it’s kind of magical that you can go to it whenever you feel anything. My playlists are the chapters of my life, and it’s good to know that I’ll never be truly alone if I have the perfect soundtrack.
Adopting an ethic of care for others helps me understand how people deserve to be treated. The world doesn’t revolve around you, so you should think about others as much as you can.
It’s okay to step away from situations that make you uncomfortable. Trust your gut when it signals to you that the person you’re with or the environment you’re in doesn’t feel right.
Fixing your posture is hard but so necessary. After many years of looking down at my phone, I’m paying for it. It’s more fun to act like a princess with perfect posture anyway.
It’s fun to be your own best friend. When you find your hobbies, you like yourself a lot more!! And you can be the best you for yourself and people in your life. I would be nothing without my French lessons on Duolingo, my Sunday evening manicures, days spent baking in the kitchen, and exercising to my favorite music.
You lose out on a lot of good people and experiences by being a follower. Make your own decisions, otherwise you will have dreams about your missed opportunities… and those will haunt you.
Sleeping in matching pajama sets is just infinitely better than sleeping in random old t-shirts from high school. You deserve a little luxury.
Pride ruins good relationships, so learn to apologize and own up to your mistakes without sounding so defensive. Taylor Swift said this best in her essay: “Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you.”
Using Instagram will always be a little unnerving, but it’s a fun app when you set boundaries and don’t think too hard about it. Setting a time limit, muting, blocking, or unfollowing people is sometimes necessary to make you feel better in your thinky organ!!
Your personal style doesn’t have to fit one aesthetic! Wearing what you want and following trends that speak to you is the best form of self expression.
Speaking of, being thoughtful about clothing you want to add to your wardrobe is important. Investing in quality pieces will be a better investment, and altering pieces you don’t wear enough (or at all) can spark a newfound love for them.
Make your bed. It’s the easiest thing you will accomplish in your day.
It’s good to do things alone. When I went to a concert by myself, I had just as much fun as when I’ve gone with friends. If you’re doing something you enjoy alone, you’re already in a community of people that share your interests. And that’s also a good way to make friends as an adult.
On that note, try to do things that would make the littlest, most wide-eyed and curious version of yourself happy. I’m adding plush keychains back onto my purses, rewarding myself with treats, and getting enough sleep.
I would be nothing without my tchotchkes! They make my space feel like home. Clutter core forever.
Real friends help me shine. They’re with me when I’m in the trenches and when I have something to celebrate. They make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
People will show you how much they want or don’t want you in their life. My job is to not blame myself for it.
Grief is one of those things that you’ll never really know how to navigate, and that’s fine. It’s hard to accept when someone is gone, but the love stays with you forever.
This is advice my doctor gave me when I was sobbing in her office while catching her up on my life earlier this year: Think about what you would tell someone you love to do if they were in your situation, and there’s your answer.
It’s okay to be a private person, but you should never carry other people’s burdens. Do not protect people who do you wrong by keeping quiet.
Finding a balance between oversharing and completely isolating yourself is hard, but you’re doing your best. Just make sure you trust the right people. Mind your business, because not everyone needs to know it.
Drinking water is easier through a straw for some reason. It becomes a mindless activity that my skin is grateful for.
I’m going to get to where I want to be eventually. Don’t compare your experience to other people’s.
I’m never going to be perfect or know the exact right thing to say or do. Don’t hold yourself to impossibly high standards, because you’re still learning, but do keep yourself accountable for your actions.
The Taylor Corner
Taylor Swift did not wish me a happy birthday on Tuesday, but she did start unveiling the tracklist for her upcoming album Midnights on her TikTok. At the moment we know the names of two tracks: “Mastermind” and “Vigilante Shit.” Plus she’s wearing a sweater I almost bought many moons ago in this TikTok, my major regret is ensuing.
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In the span of probably an hour, there was a rumor peddled by Variety that she was also doing the next year’s Super Bowl halftime show. Then People Magazine debunked it, and it was finally revealed that Tayla declined to do the performance until she had rerecorded all her albums. And let’s be real, if she’s going to open with “...Ready for it?” (and she absolutely would) we need reputation (Taylor’s Version) stat!
Baby on the way!!
Molly Mae and Tommy Fury from season 5 (the best season) of Love Island are expecting their first child, and announced it via Instagram Reel. Congrats to them!!
The Bachelorette Finale Recap
Oh I’m so glad this is over… it was kind of torturous having a two-part finale even though it was necessary. Gabby and Rachel are in the live studio with Jesse Palmer again to watch the final bits of the show with the audience. We pick back up with Gabby and her newest dilemma with Erich: will he propose to her at the end of this? Well, the matter wasn’t really solved, but they both agree that they want to make the relationship work. Rachel has her last date with Tino, and she tells him he’s the last man standing. The next day the Bachelorettes meet to gab about their Fantasy Suites and somehow they each both have one man left who they’re hoping to receive a proposal from.
Rachel’s proposal is shown first, and they’re gushing over each other and talking about how they can’t wait to be together forever. Then he gets down on one knee and presents an emerald cut engagement ring, and Rachel says yes. They get on a horse and ride off into the sunset! In the live studio, Jesse and Rachel talk about how her relationship with Tino has gone since this moment in May. She explains that although things were good for a while, things got difficult around when the show premiered in July. She said Tino began to warn her vaguely about things that might come to light from past relationships, but the biggest bomb of all was that Tino cheated on Rachel. Luckily, producers arranged a safe house visit for the couple to talk things out in August, and the following footage was shown to the audience.
First, Gabby visits Rachel (and they don’t even hide the fact that Gabby is also wearing an engagement ring even though we haven’t seen her proposal yet) for moral support before he arrives to see her. Basically, Tino thought he and Rachel were on a break (I think I’ve seen this film before), and Gabby tells Rachel that she needs and deserves better. Tino arrives and sits on the opposite end of the couch Rachel is on. “I messed up,” Tino starts. “I kissed another girl, but the second I did, I knew I belonged with you. And this was the tiniest thing ever. I’m not taking away from what happened at all, and the emotional rollercoaster it puts you on, but I just tried to get past it.”
Rachel wants to know all the details of his affair, and he says that it was a woman he met prior to being on the show. When he got home after getting engaged, he ran into her at a bar and they caught up. Tino is holding a journal and reads quotes from Rachel to back himself up: “‘I don’t know how this is going to work,’ ‘I’m in a bad place,’ ‘I can’t put any effort into this,’ ‘I’m giving back the ring, I can’t wear it to AFR,’ ‘I don’t want to go to therapy.’” Rachel is shocked and tells him to look her in the eyes and not lie. She tells him she did go to therapy, and to not “throw that in [her] face.” She also says she never said she was giving the ring back, she said that if they call off the engagement and revert back to dating, that she wasn’t going to wear it for the live finale. Rachel calls Tino out for essentially blaming her for what he did, and for not apologizing. He says sorry, but doesn’t say what he’s sorry for. Next thing we know, he is excusing himself and walks outside to talk to a producer. He covers his microphone to muffle the sound and says, “Just get me out of this! Just tell her to break up with me! Let me out!”
Tino goes back inside, and Rachel rightfully chews him out for not taking any accountability. He says he thought they were done, but when things got better, he didn’t want to ruin it over something so “tiny.” Rachel begs him to tell the truth, and Tino excuses himself again. She goes out after a minute to look for him, and finds him on the phone with his shirt undone. Weird. Anyway, he tells Rachel he wishes he never told her, but that he will spend the “rest of his life” making it up to her. Then the most girlboss moment of the season: Rachel hands him her engagement ring and tells him she’s done, and Tino leaves the house.
Tino is in the live studio, and walks out on stage to some booing, to talk to Rachel with Jesse moderating. He apologizes for what he did and how their last conversation came off. But then he gets into the out of context quotes again, and Rachel asks him if he wants to talk about the personal things they were both going through at the time, to which he says no. But Rachel is still irritated that he thought they were broken up when he cheated on her by the end. I am definitely Team Rachel on this one, because Tino could not muster up a good apology after all this time. Jesse then tells Rachel that someone wants to talk to her… it’s Aven!!! He whisks Rachel off the stage, and mind you, Tino is still up there and looking as uncomfortable as ever.
With all of that, we still have to see Gabby’s engagement. They do their speeches, Erich gets down on one knee, and she says yes! There are also some serious matters to address with Gabby and Erich’s relationship in the live studio. But Bachelorette producers have to make a decision with what they want to spend time talking about: the leaked text messages from Erich’s ex claiming he went on the show for career opportunities, or the blackface photos. They choose the former and ignore the latter. Erich says that the woman was in his life for about a month, but that he ended things poorly when the chance to be on the show came around. Gabby agrees that he was “kind of an asshole to her.” There is nothing alluded to Erich doing blackface, except maybe for former Bachelorette Becca Kufrin warning Gabby to make sure they align their values.
Then they officially announce Zach Shallcross as the new Bachelor, and start his ~journey~ on the live stage by bringing out five women for him to meet. And America is voting by tweet for the woman they think should get America’s First Impression Rose. Long story short, Brianna, who brought a Polaroid camera for them to take a selfie together and then slid the photo in his jacket pocket, won the vote and is safe for the first week. Then there was a Bachelor in Paradise sneak peek, which starts next week.
Speaking of BiP, I am simply not interested in recapping four hours every week. Since there are so many personalities on the beach, I thought it’d be fun to do couple/individual power rankings especially after last season with the Brendan and Pieper of it all. I know power rankings are popular with sports, and Hunter Harris has expertly done Succession power rankings in her newsletter, Hung Up, so I think I will give this a try this season!
Thank you for reading handle with care this week 💚 I had a great birthday at home this week, but honestly it was a little sad after having a death in my extended family just two days before. I would always get a phone call from them on my birthday, so it was different not having one this year.
In other news, handle with care turns one next week!! 🎂 I’ll have more to say on this in next week’s newsletter, but just know that I am very proud of myself for keeping it going! I never thought I would get into blogging, but here I am. See you then!
